Learn to take a compliment already!

It's a hobby of mine to hand out compliments. I'll tell a stranger in the grocery store how cute her high wasted green pants are without even thinking how weird and annoying I must be for stopping a stranger to talk about their pants!

So as comfortable as I am handing out compliments I find myself still, after all of these years on earth, not being able to take one. My initial gut feeling when I read a compliment is an indescribable shy and not worthy feeling. If someone says how lovely a butterfly is, all I can see are the ways I can improve it next time. I think to myself, "oh, they didn't look closely enough" or, "they've never seen X's butterflies, so they think mine is great." This thinking is a terrible and self-destructive habit that I've been trying to break, and here's how I'm doing it.

First: If someone compliments you about anything! Just say, "thank you." A compliment should be returned with gratitude, not self-loathing. Don't think too hard; say, "thank you."

Second: Don't compare yourself to anyone else but yourself. Your butterfly is beautiful because it's yours. You did it and deserved a compliment regardless of how much better someone else's butterfly is.

Third: Be kinder to yourself. Before saying something terrible about yourself in your head (or out loud) ask yourself, "would I say that to someone else?" The answer is probably, NO. Stop and think about how you are talking to yourself. This part I'm still working on, being kinder to myself! Appreciating the gifts and skills I've acquired over the years and accept a compliment.

I'll leave you with a quote from a Stoic Philosopher that I find poignant and reflective.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”

― Seneca

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